Balancing Acts

With two young children and a demanding full time job, I am constantly looking for ways to maintain and grow the important foundation for my family: my marriage. When I was first married I remember the pact that my husband and I made about always making time for one another - at all costs. I remember the promises we made to always put eachother first no matter what the circumstances. I am proud to share that we have worked very hard to maintain our pact and our promises to one another. With that said, there are ups and downs in the balancing act that is our children, careers, home, extended family and physical and emotional health and well being. These days it seems to be getting more and more challenging to make the one-on-one time for eachother that is so essential.

I know that I am not the only woman out there with this challenge. I'd like to share a column that was written a couple years ago titled "CREATE a Marriage Built to Last". Unlike many articles and books written on this topic...I really connect with the CREATE buildling blocks.  These are good reminders for ANYONE in a relationship.

Here's an excerpt from the column:

Is your marriage built to last? The foundation of a lasting partnership rests on six building blocks that form the acronym CREATE: Chemistry, Respect, Enjoyment, Acceptance, Trust, Empathy. When these components are strong and plentiful, your marriage is vital and durable. But, when any of them are weak or in short supply, your marriage becomes troubled and fragile. So, where does your relationship stand? Grab a pen and a piece of paper and then tally your score to find out.

1. Chemistry
Chemistry is the sizzle, romance and passion that sweeps you away when you first fall in love.
Test yourself: How often are you turned on by the way your partner looks dressed and undressed? (1 = Rarely, 2 = Sometimes, 3 = Often)

2. Respect
Respect is more about how good of a person both you and your partner are than how good each of you make the other feel. You demonstrate respect by how well you listen.
Test yourself: How frequently do you listen to your partner and hear them out without interrupting?

3. Enjoy
Enjoying your marriage is simply about having fun just being with each other. When you're with your partner (or even thinking about him or her) it makes you feel lighter and puts a smile on your face.
Test yourself: How often do you and your partner have lunch or dinner with just each other?

4. Acceptance
When acceptance is present, you feel welcomed as you, as opposed to having to prove yourself. When acceptance is missing, you feel judged and as if you can't do anything right.
Test yourself: How frequently do you feel you can be yourself with your partner?

5. Trust
Trust makes it safe to bare your neck and your heart, to confide personal fears and dreams, without worrying that they'll be used against you or that you'll be taken advantage of. It takes seconds to destroy trust, and years to rebuild it.
Test yourself: How often are you able to tell your partner things you feel embarrassed or ashamed about?

6. Empathy
Empathy is about understanding -- and feeling understood by -- your partner. It's asking "What's it like for my partner right now?" rather than presuming you each know when you really don't.
Test yourself: How frequently do you feel understood by your partner?

(the full article can be found at  http://www.thirdage.com/marriage/create-a-marriage-built-to-last)


I don't know about you...but I'm going to work on being more CREATE ive......